Kangaroo Spotting

Wednesday, February 24, 2016

Back on the Radar and Back to Reality

I've been off the radar for a few weeks not really by choice. Post surgery was not the staycation I expected.

Aside from not being able to paint, write or exercise, I couldn't even tie-up my own hair. It's unsettling being so dependent. Don't get me wrong, the surgery was a choice and my inability is temporary. Still...I felt unsettled. Frustrated. Cranky.

You know how doing things with children takes twice as long as they normally would? Well that was me and then some. For a quick-moving lady, this was torture. I had so many things I wanted to do but could not.

One example is the commissioned artwork I have to finish for a dear friend in Buffalo. It's been hand-stretched, primed and has its first layer of paint. It's like an airplane that's been sitting on the runway for three weeks. I worry about momentum, I worry there is no one left in the plane.

Overthinking it I'm sure, but still. Anxiety.

Finding time to paint in real life is hard enough as it is. People often ask me how I do it- and I'll tell you- it's not a magic formula. It involves $cash money$ for childcare. So on days where motivation is lacking, the pressure is on financially and emotionally.

So yeah, the last few weeks with visiting family, surgery and recovery I felt my momentum sputter and fail.

If you don't feel bad for me already what I'm going to say next might make you want to punch me in the face. (Just let me complain a little bit, we're friends right?)

I'm writing a blog post for the first time in several weeks from an empty beach on my iPhone. Not the easiest thing to do without a keyboard and with a bum hand but it feels good. And did I mention I'm on a beach?

Get this though- despite the practically empty shore there are these two sets of parents who are literally talking over me. They both have sons named Nate and they both get really pissed off when people ask if it's short for Nathaniel. It's just Nate- ok everyone?? Deal with it. People have turned a nickname into a full name. Besides, Dad no.1 really thinks it sounds sportier that way.

I know, I know, I'm on the beach. My daughter is occupied. I'm WRITING for the first time in weeks. I should be so lucky but I feel like these people are interrupting my mojo. Like when you're in the bedroom with hubby and the baby starts crying. Quit messing with my release Nate's Moms and Dads!

Moments after Nate's parents left. Go talk over a seagull next time!

I might sound really negative right now but I don't feel it. I'm pleased to be blowing off these cobwebs and actually putting down a few thoughts. I'm not a one-handed robot after all!

To prove it I'll tell you something positive. While down here on the Penninsula I came across an awesome (and reasonably priced) Arts and Crafts Market called Flock of Seagulls in Rye. It's such a lovely place to treasure-hunt or have a coffee. We went there at least once every day.

Anyway- they rent out space to local artists and vendors (I bought two dresses, an artwork and a pillow cover) a woman who works there took my business card. I left the market and later received a message from her saying that she took a look at my site, loves my work and would make room for me any time. What a massive compliment!

So even though I'm coming out of a funk now I feel happy. I know that painting and telling stories are part of my stress relief, part of who I am. Knowing this gives me back a little of my power (and hopefully some jet fuel).

Labels: Art, Commissioned Work, Create, Identity

Saturday, November 28, 2015

Makers Monthly: The Makers Monday Edition

As most of you may know- Black Friday is wrapping up right now in the USA. You know the day when the shops open at like 5am and people get trampled at Wal-Mart? Yeah that's the one.

Well something positive has come about to counteract this day of massive, corporate consumerism and it's called Makers Monday.

Share something you've made and a link to your store or blog and show the world the importance of preserving all things handmade. Let's support local businesses by supporting one another!

Add your Etsy listing, a link to your blog and show something you've made! It can be a craft, artwork, recipe, DIY project or even a story. I can't wait to see the creativity!

Click on the Blue Link to Add your Etsy Listing or Blog Post

An InLinkz Link-up

Labels: Art, Commissioned Work, Create, DIY, MAKERS MONTHLY, Product Love

Friday, June 26, 2015

One + Four = Life: Homeward

I’ve been in my hometown for two weeks now and have settled in while trying to balance the overwhelming urge to see everyone and do everything possible while resting enough to stay upright.

It’s hard fighting the panic that shouts “this is the last time you will see so-and-so for another year,” and makes me buy all the American things because they are so much cheaper than in Australia. “Of course you need seven mascaras! They are a third of the cost!”

Every once in a while I have to remind myself to stop, if my body doesn’t remind me first by getting sick or falling asleep at 8:00PM. One of the main things that makes me focus are seeing people who are important to me, like my brother.

My bro and I have not lived in the same city in over a decade but I always miss him. We tortured one another growing up but he’s been along for the ride with me longer than anyone.

For the first time in years we are both at home, without our respective spouses so naturally we decided to do something a little whimsical.

One: Brother Sister Matching Tattoos

My brother and I grew up watching The Goonies. Putting on a VHS flick was one guaranteed way we would get along for at least 90 minutes. So in the spirit of pirates and One-Eyed-Willy we have gotten matching SailorJerry clipper ships. And taking from the classic SJ flash the word 'Homeward' in the banner underneath. To Eric and I, it represents our relationship because even though we are separated, we will always make our way home to one another, even if only figuratively.

Two: The Kooks Are Out

I started listening to The Kooks when I lived in Amsterdam, my favorite city, their album Inside In The Inside Out will always remind me of one of the best times in my life. It’s poetic that I took along Michelle who was my colleague, flat mate and best friend in Amster. I had tickets to see the band twice before to no avail. The first time, I was pregnant and mixed up the dates (damn baby brain!) the second time we had an overnight wedding and had to sell our tickets (the wedding was wonderful and worth it!) When I FINALLY saw The Kooks at The Rapids Theater in Niagara Falls, USA I stood two rows away from the stage and rock out like I was one of the other 18 year olds in the venue. Totally worth the wait.

Three: Backyard Beauty

I didn’t grow up in the house my Mother and Stepfather share but it reminds me of my childhood home, especially how the backyard buttresses the woods behind it. Watching my daughter run around in the golden light of the summer evenings fills my heart with a mixture of joy and melancholy. We have escaped the middle of a Melbourne Winter but also left behind my husband, her Dad. And then I start thinking about how she won’t ever have the same memories growing up as I did. Perhaps I should brush up on my memory and my storytelling.

Four: A Caffeine-Fueled Painting Afternoon

I’m incredibly lucky that my mother is an interior designer and she wants to populate some of her projects with my artwork. Whoa!! All of the sudden I’m a commissioned artist!!?! I worried that I’m not “professional” enough to sell my work. My husband said to me “What makes any artist a professional? You studied art, you make art, and people want to pay you for it.” He has a point.

Labels: Commissioned Work, Create, ExPat Life, Family, Travel

Tuesday, February 3, 2015

Fear Gives you the Opportunity to be Brave

This is the only painting I've done that I like. I made it to hang over our couch because I could not find anything I wanted to buy.

Before Christmas my Uncle emailed to ask about commissioning a painting...from me. “Are you still an Artist?” he asked.

What a question!

Since I was a little girl I loved to color, draw and paint. My earliest memories are of sitting at my grandmother’s kitchen table creating for hours. She would lay down this big plastic table cloth in a 1970’s orange and green flower-power print. I would go to town on her art supplies which she kept in a giant Ritz Cracker Tin.

I begged my parents for “Art” lessons and they signed me up at age 10. My Aunt bought me a set of watercolours professional enough for a University student. My ‘art lessons’ consisted of pouring through boxes of greeting cards and coping images of bunnies, flowers and animals I liked. I was the youngest student by at least five years but never felt looked-down-upon in that basement studio.

Isn’t that cute? She wants to be an artist when she grows up.

We looked at a high school for me called ‘Performing Arts.’ I shadowed there but my parents gently nudged me toward a school that focused more on academics- which I didn’t mind because they also had a kick ass art department.

Art is just a hobby.

When it came time to go to College I was ‘supposed’ to major in pre-med but as a last minute decision I decided not to declare. I took Drawing 1 as an elective first semester and by Sophomore year I was a double major in Art and English (my ‘fallback’). I was a semester away from finishing the double major and needed two more art history classes. The bank of parentals decided that since the English credits were complete that it was a waste of their money and my time to finish both.

Graduate with the English degree and go get a real job.

My confidence took a hit every time I was told I would never make money as an artist. Everything was becoming digital in the early 2000’s and I was afraid of spending all my time in front of a computer. It was enough of an excuse for me to throw my paint covered hands up in the air and not look back.

Art is not a career.

I searched the world, travel was a great substitute for my artistic passion. I bounced around from job to job, learning about life and business but still nothing I did was ‘creative’ enough for me. I tried everything from journalism, to ad sales, to matchmaking. Idly waiting for someone to hand me my dream job while I ‘worked to live’ is how I spent the better part of the last decade.

Unless you’re an entrepreneur you won’t be able to sell things you make.

It only makes sense that I willed art to come back into my life over the last year. Becoming a mother has allowed me to zoom out, and then back into my life. My daughter inspires me and reminds me that soon I will pass on a legacy I want to be proud of. I’m tired of envying other artists and thinking that I’ll never be good enough. Maybe I won’t- but I would much rather try and fail. But I won’t fail because I will be doing what I love.

Goodbye judgemental inner critic. And no more excuses.

So yes, Uncle Patrick, I think- actually I know- I am still an artist. You must be part of the grand plan to make me face that question. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to be a paid, professional artist for the first time- don’t worry, you’ll get the family discount.

Here is an update on the piece Uncle P asked me to paint for him. It's nearly complete: