Kangaroo Spotting: Parents Can Be Responsible Rebels

Artist, Rebel, Hippie, Hipster?

I spent Wednesday in the city of Melbourne with two friends. The clear sky and sun lit up cobblestone alleyways and Christmas tinsel alike.

Even though we had an agenda- it felt more like wandering. Lavinia was home with her Grandmother so I was free, touristy and vibrant.

Somewhere along the last few months I lost that apologetic feeling you have about being out in public without the baby aka 'the excuse.' Pushing the stroller in front of you explains why you look disheveled, dumpy or lacking confidence. The only way I was able to become more secure within myself is by recognizing who I am now and remembering who I used to be. Pre-Mom and Post-Mom don’t have to be so radically different, who knew?

Thinking back to last year when my anxiety took over- the guilt would not allow me to put any energy into myself. I would stress about Lavinia wearing pajamas if I managed to get dressed that day. If I looked like I put more effort into my appearance than hers, people would think I’m a bad Mom. This is unhealthy thinking. These days as long as she’s happy- I’m sweet. I wear what I want, I rock my tattoos, sometimes I even apply eyeliner.

When my friends and I visited the stunning State Library ofVictoria yesterday- we saw a free exhibit called ‘Bohemian Melbourne,’ a celebration of free spirits. It details the lives and work of several of Melbourne’s own counter-cultural artists, writers, musicians and dancers from the 1880’s to today. It spoke to me.

These people pushed back against convention and led extraordinary lives. They dressed, expressed, spoke about, wrote down and painted their passions. They chose to live outside the status quo. They were troubled, talented and thirsty. A pertinent reminder that even though my life has seemed completely traditional these last few years, work, marriage, house, baby...I’m doing this all in a foreign country. My life is 'technically' unusual however I don’t like being too comfortable. Might be time to shake things up.

I’m looking to next year with anticipation. Hopefully that’s a sign of me dwelling less on the past because the future deserves as much appreciation and pondering.

I'm bringing the boundary-nudging rebel back in 2015. Wish me luck.

Labels: ExPat Life, Post Natal Depression, Travel