I stopped using my ‘day off’ to clean, cook, write (with the remaining 15 minutes) or even to sleep. It's a myth that you can get ahead of household chores or caught up on sleep. Lavinia's five-hours of childcare absolutely flies and when it’s over I wonder why I’m still tired.
Being selfish with my time has made me feel more human. Not sure what that means about my inherent humanity but I’m okay with that for now.
A few weeks ago I decided to take a Bikram yoga class, grab lunch, and get a pedicure. When I went to pick up my little girl, with lotiony feet and salty hair, it felt like I had been on a vacation. The downside of these particular activities is they cost money. Because it was an experiment I had to stick with what was sure to work. I’ll find less-expensive ways to unwind- perhaps an idea for a future post!
Bikram was a love of mine pre-wife, pre-mother, pre-permanent-resident-of-OZ days. It’s a practice I wander back to often in my life and has been sort of a constant for ten years now (wow I’m old). It might be cultish and time-consuming but it’s as much a part of me as my Buffalonian accent.
My limbs felt rusty like the tin man's. I could not stretch as deeply into the postures but they were familiar as an old friend. That first class after a two year hiatus reminded me how to clear my head. Bliss.
And the flow-on effect of my self-indulgence...I started reading during nap time...screw you laundry pile! Devouring the craptastic novel (Gone Girl) in one week. That's all it took for me to fill my kindle with all kinds of non-parenting related reads. Talk about a cost-effective escape! My weekly shower tally has dropped but I'm cool with this too.
The comfort of old interests helped connect my past to my present. If I can find ways to fit more of them into my daily life I might just feel more sane, less fatigued and a helluva lot more relaxed.
|Happy Mom, Happy Babe|