You can't Fix it Overnight
However, yesterday's session has left me feeling frustrated.
When the therapist pulled out her ‘dittos’ I was immediately reminded of grade school.
In addition to this quite complex chart, I was given another handout with hypothetical questions about hypothetical people in hypothetical situations and asked to hypothesize on how these people may think and feel....Um...When can I talk about me?
I’m no expert but I get it- my negative ‘thoughts’ are creating negative ‘feelings’- just tell me how to make it stop already.
Admittedly I’m not a patient person. I'm not new to this but it's been a while so I must remind myself that it won’t hurt to do some refreshing. And it DOES take some effort to retrain the brain, just like it takes exercise to lose the baby weight.
My session wasn’t a complete waste. She did have one clever connection I had not thought of. The link between my anxiety about (the lack of) packing and my feelings about the trip itself.
To pre-game a visit to Buffalo I usually stress about family drama. My parents won’t get enough of me. They will make me feel guilty when I want to see my friends. To prove I can do it all, I make too many plans, run around Erie County until I feel like collapsing, and sputter on until I reach Buffalo Niagara International Airport. There I will elbow my way onto the plane looking forward to 24 hours of peace.
This visit will be different. I am returning with my new identity as a mother. I will be introducing my baby girl to the other half of her life.
Maybe it’s time to face the fear that I may not be looking forward to that flight back to Australia this time around.