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Every Day is a Learning Experience

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I woke up today so cozy that I didn’t want to get out of bed. Once I did- I got an infuriating email from my Mom.

It was her response to me pouring my heart out about my financial woes and admitting for the first time how desperate the situation is. I usually gloss it over with Matty because there is nothing more embarrassing that being broke when you’re fully capable of working. I was in tears as I wrote her that email.

My large tax return is yet to show up at her house and even farther from finding it’s way to my bank account. I hate that I even asked for her to lend me some of it in advance but I did. I have credit card bills and student loans.

My Mom told me to “Get creative. Be a nanny or housekeeper.” So does that mean I should live with some random family in Melbourne and send rent home to Matt? Is that getting creative or defeative?

I haven’t babysat since I got my lifeguard certification at age 16. I don't have "professional nanny" experience for strangers to leave me with their children.

Maybe I want to be validated for a second. I don't want to hear; “It will all be okay, just stop stressing about it.” When you tell someone to stop stressing it always works right?

Moving on in my inbox, note from my friend working in Nigeria who urgently needs web-content. Thank you work gods!

Then I check Facebook. Last night I took a chance and posted a link to my blog and website. The response was amazing! People took the time to read and even write to me about it!

Maybe it’s a fragile artist’s ego but the praise motivating. I feel like a different person from the one who was angry at Mom this morning.

Maybe I shouldn’t blame her for giving me tough love. She is the one who made me as strong as I am today and able to take on these challenges. Weak moment, sorry Mom.

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35 36 37 38 Kangaroo Spotting: Every Day is a Learning Experience

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Every Day is a Learning Experience


I woke up today so cozy that I didn’t want to get out of bed. Once I did- I got an infuriating email from my Mom.

It was her response to me pouring my heart out about my financial woes and admitting for the first time how desperate the situation is. I usually gloss it over with Matty because there is nothing more embarrassing that being broke when you’re fully capable of working. I was in tears as I wrote her that email.

My large tax return is yet to show up at her house and even farther from finding it’s way to my bank account. I hate that I even asked for her to lend me some of it in advance but I did. I have credit card bills and student loans.

My Mom told me to “Get creative. Be a nanny or housekeeper.” So does that mean I should live with some random family in Melbourne and send rent home to Matt? Is that getting creative or defeative?

I haven’t babysat since I got my lifeguard certification at age 16. I don't have "professional nanny" experience for strangers to leave me with their children.

Maybe I want to be validated for a second. I don't want to hear; “It will all be okay, just stop stressing about it.” When you tell someone to stop stressing it always works right?

Moving on in my inbox, note from my friend working in Nigeria who urgently needs web-content. Thank you work gods!

Then I check Facebook. Last night I took a chance and posted a link to my blog and website. The response was amazing! People took the time to read and even write to me about it!

Maybe it’s a fragile artist’s ego but the praise motivating. I feel like a different person from the one who was angry at Mom this morning.

Maybe I shouldn’t blame her for giving me tough love. She is the one who made me as strong as I am today and able to take on these challenges. Weak moment, sorry Mom.

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4 Comments:

At May 14, 2010 at 12:52 AM , OpenID La12lasp said...

awww Dawny! I bet it is stressful..... I know it sounds silly but have you thought about Lifeguarding again at all? just for the meantime? I bet hotels and beaches would love to have someone like you! Just a thought to pass the time....
Good luck darling, its a good time to manifest, statements like "i am...." "I have..." should help you get what you want!
-Laura

 
At May 18, 2010 at 5:51 PM , Blogger Dawn D., said...

Good suggestion Laurs- the lifeguards here are SUPER hardcore though- practically shark hunters to boot!

 
At May 19, 2010 at 2:29 AM , Blogger jess novak said...

You can always sell your eggs, Dawn. I looked into it for myself back when I was house-jumping. $5,000-$10,000. This may or may not be a completely serious suggestion. Maybe.

 
At May 19, 2010 at 5:38 PM , Blogger Dawn D., said...

The only thing that gets me is that we only have a set amount of eggs per our lifetime. Mine are already almost 30 years old- already lost a fair few!! That and you can't do it for six months while you're taking hormones. Not that I looked into it or anything...

 

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